Tangled Up in Eiruvin

If you've ever wondered why Golders Greeners are such suckers for UOHC you're not alone because there are mugs and there are mugs - and there are Golders Greeners. Sorry for this but you guys don’t stop baffling me and let me explain.

A few weeks ago UOHC banned the new Golders Green eiruv despite that not even the entire UOHC Rabbinate was onboard and despite that they came up with a blatant lie about there not being “dalsos” (notional barriers) when in fact not only are there proper full time barriers on call to launch into action following a halachic prompt, but they even come with formal consent from Barnet to do so.

But those rabbonim who take orders from Stamford Hill and see Rav Zim as an upstart and his new eiruv as an encroachment on their territory were ready with their pens and bans and very predictably did what they do best. Banned and warned and advised that it’s still not kosher enough. Because as anyone who deals with eiruvin will tell you, few eiruvin if any are kosher to all standards and these rabbonim abuse their authority by pretending it’s otherwise.

But there is the little matter of the Stamford Hill eiruv that covers South Tottenham and parts of Clapton. UOHC installed, approved and continues to supervise this eiruv, despite claiming for decades that no part of London was capable of being eiruved. The change of heart came, they famously claimed, after a river was discovered that had been hiding in plain sight since time immemorial. We all saw the ducks and the boats but who’d believe there was a river hiding beneath them? But such is the koach hatorah and since Hagar opened her eyes and discovered a well, never has there been such a fortuitous discovery of a body of water like this one.

Original Stamford Hill eiruv map (2020)

But that eiruv was also fraught with difficulties, meaning difficulties which stem from UOHC trying to to reconcile their past interdictory statements with their new permissive stance. So the new eiruv stopped half way down streets and bang in the middle of the neighbourhood. (In the plan above, UOHC sneakily cut off Ravensdale Road to pretend the street does not continue parallel to the streets in the grid above.) Not surprisingly, this led to weekly chilul Shabbos by out of towners who couldn’t spot where the eiruv ended and locals who either failed to pay attention or didn’t mind the odd sin of Shabbos-carrying being heaped onto UOHC’s sizeable negative balance sheet.

The truth of the matter though, is that UOHC only established the Stamford Hill eiruv after locals took the law into their own hands and UOHC had no option but to fold. Anything else, and their loss of authority in their own backyard would have proved fatal to them.

“It is therefore forbidden to carry on Shabbos in these extended streets”

However, the matter did not end there and the locals continued (and continue) pushing at the envelope to expand the eiruv and UOHC issued bans which were widely ignored. And so the thugs got to work snipping the eiruv string and which UOHC, by its silence, condoned. The argument remained, as always, that London being a city with a population of over 600,000 cannot have an eiruv unless there’s a river to be discovered. Never mind that populous cities like Jerusalem and New York have eiruvin which are suitable even for the bearded and fur-hatted but our sceptered isle, we were told, is different.

Stamford Hill eiruv map (2025)

But now UOHC has had a change of heart. It’s unclear if the river has grown another confluence or what else has changed but in its latest plan Ravensdale Road has increased in length and the eiruv will now expand over its entire stretch and will also cover some neighbouring streets which hitherto we had been told were impossible to have an eiruv.

And which brings me back to Golders Green. Don’t get me wrong, they are lovely people there and especially the ones who approach me as many did last Shabbos. And the ones who blanked me, I can believe that in all probability they don’t know who I am so no hard feelings there either. But why on earth do they allow themselves to be pushed about by a Stamford Hill establishment that cares so little for them other than to lord over their territory and come collecting in their shuls and homes?

I spent last week Shabbos in Golders Green and made my way to Hendon Adath for their Rov, Rav Bixenspanner’s Shabbos Hagodel droshe. They are refurbishing their shul and the theme of his disquisition was on the sanctity of a shul, and flowing from that he softly chided his flock on the unfortunate habit of congregants to chat in shul. The impression so far is mixed, of the refurbishments that is, rather than the sermon.

The ceiling is a very non-chareidi barrelled vault ceiling but the part of the floor that’s completed has the classic chareidi bathroom look. Perhaps a bit like the streimelled rov versus the modern laity, except that you’d expect the lofty ceiling to take after the rabbinical head and the laity after the lowly walking area rather than vice versa. But that’s a small point.

This is the first time I’ve been to Hendon Adath and seen what the regulars are like. Mostly clean shaven, short jacketed and gartels few and far between. In short, almost as far from Stamford Hill as you can get.

So why on earth do these communities affiliate and pay obeisance to UOHC. The droshe was in English because I’d bet not too many could follow in Yiddish whereas UOHC is nowadays largely run by people who by choice barely speak English, and even those who are competent in the native language mostly prevent it from their children. True, this is Hendon but Golders Green is not much different. Take Munks who are a similar crowd to Hendon Adath but even more staunchly UOHC via their rov who’s a member of the UOHC Rabbinate and where the contrast is even starker.

Why are these people such suckers for punishment and why do they permit themselves to be played like fools? Why have your neighbourhood eiruv which has been installed by a widely respected and learned rov traduced even while the Stamford Hill eiruv is being extended into areas which were ‘impossible’ just last week? The anti-Golders Green eiruv letter was signed by UOHC rabbonim who may never have spent a Shabbos there and would hardly be recognised in the street (and not to mention one who’s almost comatose) while Rav Zimmerman is a local household name. So why favour the former with whom you have so little in common over the latter who - besides being sentient - is a locally known and respected quantity?

I don’t have the answers but all I can say is that if you have so little self respect, don’t expect others who barely speak your language and with a completely different set of values and mores to respect you any more than you respect yourselves.